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INTERNET GERM #4

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"Actiggressus essjaysalmonella"

"Don’t let those uneducated swine escape unshamed! It’s high time you stood up for what’s right by harassing, humiliating and bullying them into submission! It’s not an easy job, especially when you and I are the only ones in the world who aren’t insensitive scum, but no battle  is too small, no words too cruel, no cretin worth mercy as long as they offended you first! The world can only stand to be a better place once we expose the culturally offensive way they celebrated Presidents Day or callously misappropriated banana pudding!

Why bother talking it out peacefully, when you can wildly presume they’re beyond all hope and focus all your pent-up frustration into ruining their lives? It’s not your job to educate them - it’s your job to make them hate themselves for perpetuating the ills of society, intentionally or otherwise, and then maybe they’ll even KILL themselves, which would just be hilarious! Let’s go for the high score!”


vin·dic·tive (v n-d k t v). adj. 1. Disposed to seek revenge; revengeful. 2. Marked by or resulting from a desire to hurt; spiteful

The previous germs may be pretty evil, but even a well-intentioned hero can see them in a few too many places and go a little too far in their fury. No matter how hard you think you hate someone in the heat of the moment, you might be surprised just how much your own mind is exaggerating the situation, and just how receptive they could have been to a more constructive conversation…if you’d only given that a chance.

I’m guilty of acting this way now and then, though there are some cases, like the Deviantart neo-nazis, where I have to say I don’t regret my black and white treatment of them one bit. They are, after all, the sort of extreme lunatics who inspired Yesterday’s Racism germ.


….Anyway, I’m officially having too much fun now, I think. Originally this just had a vaguely bug-shaped gas body, but then I thought, nahhh, I better go full bug. ALWAYS go full bug!

I know some people might take this one’s “hurt butt” face as offensive, but this isn’t a play on “butthurt” so much as the ancient “bug up your butt” or “what’s up your ass” expressions (which are probably “butthurt’s” true roots anyway). If it’s a chronic vengeance-seeker, it also needed to be battle-scarred.

Obviously, the butt-fangs can sting.

drunkentumbles:

Made using Bogleech’s Mortasheen Mutant Generation Table. I kind of got carried away and made a full on monster instead of a lovable mutant, but I’ll try to rectify this later. The mutations I got were:
“Melted” appearance with dangling “drips” of skin
Mouth is anywhere but on head
Fleshy “hose” or hoses extend from one part of body to another.
Head is a butt. This is considered the epitome of beauty. (triple 10’s baby!)

Who says that’s not a lovable one!? You did freaking amazing things with it. Your art is amazing general. I love how you used the butt head roll to make the whole thing upside down with a disturbing little vestigial head.

You are so good at hands and feet, too.

drunkentumbles:

Made using Bogleech’s Mortasheen Mutant Generation Table. I kind of got carried away and made a full on monster instead of a lovable mutant, but I’ll try to rectify this later. The mutations I got were:

“Melted” appearance with dangling “drips” of skin

Mouth is anywhere but on head

Fleshy “hose” or hoses extend from one part of body to another.

Head is a butt. This is considered the epitome of beauty. (triple 10’s baby!)

Who says that’s not a lovable one!? You did freaking amazing things with it. Your art is amazing general. I love how you used the butt head roll to make the whole thing upside down with a disturbing little vestigial head.

You are so good at hands and feet, too.

How 2 play video games!