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Want to see how tough it is to get an article accepted by Cracked? (and possibly help me out)

I haven’t had a Cracked article since last year, but it’s not for lack of trying - I’ve had dozens shot down as just not being “quite there” or just too redundant with articles they’ve already done. Oftentimes it comes down to just the personal taste of a single staff member who has the power to approve something.

Case in point, I’m currently working on a pitch about surprisingly disturbing children’s characters, which I thought would have been a pretty easy one, but I still need two more examples for the list - they want a minimum of six - and the last dozen things I’ve proposed have been deemed “not creepy enough.”

Anything you can send me that seems a little too grotesque for a little kid’s show may help, but please click “read more” to see what’s already been pitched first.

Here’s an actual screenshot from an actual Noggin show called OOBI. This is one of only four examples they liked and approved of so far.

ALL OF THE FOLLOWING HAVE BEEN REJECTED:

-Noseybonk

-Pob

-Boneaparte (from a short-lived ABC show)

-Tricky Dicky

-The Walrus from Pingu

-Pompel og Pilt, the very show that inspired me to pitch the concept

-The Greedy from the Raggedy Anne movie

-The original Snuffleupagus (who was changed for frightening too many children)

-Rap Rat

-Torchy the Battery Boy

-Mr. Glitch

-The Groke from the Moomins was also already featured in a Cracked article.

THE FOLLOWING WERE ACCEPTED OR DEEMED “MAYBE’S:”

-Nobody

-Telechat

-Wizbit

-The “You’re Not Perfect” guy from Courage

-Oobi (as mentioned)

If it seems like the difference between article-worthy and article-unworthy is somewhat arbitrary, even the opposite of what you would expect in some areas, yeah, you and me both. Most of what they rejected is notoriously unsettling. They rejected a dead human skeleton that hangs out with a little boy. They rejected noseybonk. Unfortunately, there’s no room for debate with the Cracked staff. If they tell you to find something else, you just have to find something else.

  1. halloweenrice reblogged this from bogleech and added:
    Those guys are at Cracked are fucking idiots, all of these are legitimately terrifying, OOBI is not even creepy in my...
  2. titleknown reblogged this from bogleech and added:
    Ah. Well, the biggest thing I was scared of as a kid was that Jim Carrey version of The Grinch, but only from the...
  3. ehcb reblogged this from tospookkytookill and added:
    HOW DID THAT PINGU EPISODE NOT MAKE THE CUT? HAVE THEY SEEN IT? MATRCH BACK IN THERE AND DEMAND THAT THEY SEE IT! EDIT:...
  4. tospookkytookill reblogged this from bogleech
  5. zeedikay reblogged this from becdecorbin
  6. lamphouse reblogged this from bogleech and added:
    Horrifying as most of them are, I think a lot of those are pretty familiar to a lot of people on the internet; certainly...
  7. sergeantpoptart reblogged this from bogleech
  8. genalovestoons reblogged this from becdecorbin
  9. totemeister reblogged this from becdecorbin
  10. napkindust reblogged this from becdecorbin
  11. trohmosexual reblogged this from becdecorbin
  12. prosecutorcaligari reblogged this from becdecorbin and added:
    Is the antlion from Moomins disturbing enough? I think he’s way more creepy than the Groke.
  13. becdecorbin reblogged this from bogleech and added:
    holy moley.
  14. mageejabber said: Here’s a similar article I did that you may find useful (tho it does include Noseybonk): toonterror.wordpress.co…
  15. scary-crayon said: Do you have anyone from Pee-wee’s Playhouse? Pee-wee himself is arguably the most disturbing of all.
  16. fetalpile reblogged this from jesus-lizard-journal
  17. drrockso20 said: I’m kinda getting the impression that at least one Cracked staff member might just not like you and is intentionally sabotaging your submissions so you won’t be showcased which would suck royally
  18. sexymonstersupercreep reblogged this from bogleech and added:
    Somehow I’m not surprised that they would be so dumb about it. Noseybonk, for fuck’s sake!
  19. leesamfish reblogged this from bogleech and added:
    Has that show that was supposed to be Mark Twain, but turns into “two kids descend into hell” been pitched/written...
  20. schafpudel said: Do an article for your own website about the rejects! We would all apreciate it.
  21. jesus-lizard-journal reblogged this from bogleech and added:
    ugh, cracked once again proves it’s decline in quality in favor of collegehumor styled crap.
  22. harlequinbabe reblogged this from bogleech
  23. sistercy said: did they give any specific reasons for not liking these samples, or is it pretty much rejected with no explanation?
  24. mark-helsing said: Him from Powerpuff Girls, Baby Doll from Batman, every character from Courage, Mewtwo from the first Pokemon movie.
  25. sparkylurkdragon said: "Surprise Creepy" on TV Tropes might provide some ideas.
  26. scarydogmaticalien said: I gave up on Cracked after a really dud article about “people who don’t deserve sympathy”. You seem like a sane man among the Cracked contributors and I don’t know how they could reject all those characters…
  27. msaturn said: that frigging walrus got rejected? what the heck
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