There are some legitimate complaints about genetically modified foods - certainly, there is potential to modify crops in ways that could cause brand new problems for natural food webs, and potential for the technology to give some corporations unfair advantage over competitors.

Neither of these issues, however, affect your actual dietary health. If the thought of actually eating something genetically modified bothers you in itself you are probably an idiot.

Here’s an important question: have you ever eaten food at all, in your entire life? Congratulations! First for not being an android, and second for having consumed tens of millions of different organisms and their by-products since you were born. When not destroyed by a cooking process, this could have included the genetic information of innumerable animals, plants, fungi and microorganisms.

Every time you swallow you ingest at least a hundred species of bacteria that reproduce between your filthy, disgusting teeth.

All that DNA, in every bite of every meal, all mixed together in your digestive system. Every day.

Quick, are you growing any tentacles yet? No? Yeah, that makes me sad too. Every day.

The point is, eating a tomato with fish genes in it does literally nothing whatsoever to your body that eating a tuna sub with tomato on it doesn’t already do. If it bothers you because it’s “not natural,” then you should probably stop eating altogether, because vegetables and fruits have been routinely hybridized for centuries. Domestic cattle, swine and poultry are nearly unrecognizable mutant sub-breeds of their wild ancestors.

The shit they do to corn syrup alone is a bigger assault on biology than just mashing some genomes together.

Even the negative points I began with are far, far outweighed by the potential benefits of genetic technology. Crops that resist the cold, grow larger and faster, thrive in harsher environments, taste gross to boll weevils…these things could completely end world hunger, end the need for far more harmful pesticides, end the need to clear tropical forest and who knows how many other problems, if there weren’t clueless assholes fighting tooth and nail to stop progress for literally no actual reason.

Before you worry about the “ethics” and “risks” of genetically modified foods, please look up what “genetic” and “modified” mean. Then look up what “dna” means. You might also want to look up “food” for good measure. Or go back to kindergarten. You know what? Just re-read the title.